The assessments were coming on nicely. I used to look forward to our meeting with Cool SW, but they would be coming to an end in the next couple of weeks. I almost felt quite sad, that probably sounds a little unhinged but we really enjoyed seeing him and chatting and it had been like I had previously described “free therapy”. The next assessment was probably the most important and life changing. It was to discuss the sort of child we wanted. It was an emotional assessment on all counts. You are basically saying yes to one type of child and no to another.
We (TT and I) had discussed at length what we would accept and what we wouldn’t. You really have to be brutally honest with yourselves here. We wanted a child. There was no question about that. BUT (and I may shock a few people here) we weren’t so desperate that we would accept just any child. And I think again if I am brutaly honest that is good because if they (the agency/local authority) can smell desperation on you then that’s when your problems start.
Cool SW went down his list. Yes to a child from a drugs background. We knew that a majority of children in care are removed because of this so if we said no then we really were limiting ourselves. We were adamant that we wouldn’t accept a child with a background of sexual abuse, I have the greatest admiration for anyone who has but it wasn’t for us. We also said no to foetal alcohol, again this was just something we decided wasn’t for us. Cool SW was pretty good when it came to doing the list. When we were hesitant about some things, he would guide us and rephrase it another way. I got very upset at one point when we got to the subject of disabilities. But like he said you have to be practical about what you can take on and for us, it wasn’t. We both work and certain children need 24 hour care and we weren’t in that position. He made me feel better that explaining that a lot of the foster carers keep long term or even adopt these children. After that two hour session I can safely say that bottle of Pinot Grigot in the fridge that had been cooling rather nicely was enjoyed that night. We felt emotionally drained…but in a nice way. We were ready for the last assessment.