Cool SW is due to arrive later. Its Valentines Day, when he had pencilled us in for the next assessment which was the first of the two individual ones. He asked was it ok to come on Valentines or would he be intruding? Absolutely not…I don’t like to celebrate a Saint being killed and the contrived card giving, so feel free to pop in!
Biscuits at the ready, Cool SW has arrived and TT despatched upstairs to watch Ice Road Truckers or back to back episodes of Time Team and I get ready to take my position on the couch ready for my Freud Q&A session.
“Ok Jo, probably best if you just chat and I’ll take notes and ask the odd question” Chat? Crikey that’s my middle name…I’m ready!
Jo. Born to John (now retired fireman) and Brenda (also retired nursery teacher). Only child. Named after Paul Newmans wife Joanne Woodward as mum was a fan. Thank the lord she wasn’t a fan of Hilda Ogden. Only child due to a difficult birth (Forceps. Too much info?). Very happy and loving childhood. Two sets of doting grandparents. Wonderful childhood friends who I still see. Privately educated at an all girls school from 11-16. Loved that due to having a slight obsession with Enid Blyton and Mallory Towers school books as a 9 year old & thought it would be very similar. Short (extremely) short stint at college doing NNEB course (nursery nurse) due to the fact that at 16 I really didn’t have the patience to deal with small people and I had only picked that course due to getting my childcare badge in the Guides. 12 years in a local security company. Out of the blue redundancy, resulting in applying for the airlines as at 28 I didn’t have a clue what to do next and I liked the glossy advert in the back of Cosmo. 18 years later I am still tossing that chicken and beef out like a pro.
Next…tell me about your childhood. Very happy. Parents had the right balance when it came to letting me do stuff. I remember them letting me go to nightclubs when I was 16 but my dad used to pick me up but miles down the road so no prospective snog could see him.
No ex husbands hiding in the woodwork? Nope. And I wont mention the occasional freak I encountered either.
What about u and TT? Describe your marriage. Bloody hell, has he got all day? I won’t tell him we squabble every day he might see that as an unstable relationship but its usually over the tv remote or the fact that I have been fiddling with the air con in the car. OK. I am impulsive, he’s more of lets sleep on it person. I’m the fiery one with ridiculous tantrums, he’s the calm one, but believe you me when he has had enough I know about it. He’s tidy, I am disorganised but strangely anal when it comes to time and arrangements, and my memory actually scares the shit out of me sometimes with its ridiculous facts. (I am extremely popular when it comes to pub music quizzes) Don’t ask me what I was doing 20 minutes ago but ask me what I was doing on the third Saturday in November 1982 and I’m your girl. Moseley Street disco with my ra-ra skirt and hoping the fit lad with the blonde wedge and burgundy jeans was going to ask me to do a slowie to “Zoom” by Fat Larrys band. It didn’t happen by the way. I like to dream. He is more pragmatic. I’m a lightweight when it comes to drinking. He’s got hollow legs and end up absolutely steaming ( I decided to leave out this interesting fact in the end funnily enough due to the fact he may have thought we had some sort of alcohol abuse problem) I cry at stuff like Animal Hospital and he will say “Its not real!”. Yes it flipping is, that poor hamster now has 3 legs. I am extremely competitive when it comes to shouting the answers to Pop Master on Radio 2. He messes about too much with the CDs. He wriggles and talks in his sleep and likes to fall asleep to music. I like it dark, quiet and woe betide you moving as I am pretty good at handing out karate chops in the night. It usually does the trick. Very different childhoods and backgrounds but somehow it works. Well most of the time. When he admits I am right.
I think that assessment lasted 2 hours. He’s still liking those biscuits & I think he could be getting quite addicted to the old Mellowbirds so I think we are onto a good thing. Your turn next time TT. Don’t tell him about the time we sat on Southport beach on the sand dunes on an extremely hot day and you nearly burnt to death because I had forgotten the sun cream and me having olivey non burning type skin and completely bypassing your pale irish extremely prone to burning skin scoffed and said “Oh you will be fine stop moaning!”. He spent the next day in A&E at some random hospital in Newcastle where he was working at the time. He’s never quite forgiven me.